The Dish: Nothing Korny

When ESPN introduced Tony Kornheiser could be occupying the Monday Night time Soccer sales space, I smiled.

I have been watching Pardon The Interruption all alongside, and though its system has grown outdated and drained (maybe principally as a result of the wizards at ESPN Unique Leisure sucked the life out of it by making an attempt to place it on nearly each different present on the Community) Kornheiser was and is his undisputed star. Additionally, Tony the Tone-Deaf had an important radio present on ESPN Radio the place he principally refused to interview jerks and he had actual, you already know, opinions on stuff. Whereas the Dennis Miller experiment did not work (although I hardly thought it the catastrophe many others did), absolutely the extra sports-loving Kornheiser would carry true doofball sports activities humor to prime-time.

Um, not but.

Final Monday’s debut, which noticed the Oakland Raiders tackle the Minnesota Vikings, was one of many worst TV reveals I’ve ever seen. Mike Tirico will get a cross as a result of whereas he is the final word jock sniffer, he is the play-by-play kind and as such has little alternative to specific his personal character (which by the way in which appears treasured little). However the mixture of Kornheiser and the unbearable jerk Joe Theismann (my favourite Theismann quote: “No person within the recreation of soccer must be referred to as a genius saying ‘Mike Patrick and Paul Maguire.’

Might somebody please inform Tony to extra securely connect the headset to his noggin? Whereas Tirico and Theismann seemed like they have been really contained in the constructing, Kornheiser seemed to be broadcasting remotely from an aquarium within the Washington DC space. Subsequent, right here have been the primary two issues Tony the Tongue-Tied stated: “You fumble a kickoff at a nationally televised recreation on the opening kickoff, and also you need to crawl right into a gap!” and “Reggie Bush is the form of participant folks pay cash to see.” Wow. Option to rise up there, Tone! Theismann, a broadcaster who has by no means encountered a lifeless horse he could not beat up, appears to be like like Norman Einstein by comparability. (By the way in which, do you know that Theismann performed the sport? In fact, as a result of he reminds you each 30 seconds.)

Kornheiser must be a breath of recent air in a career – colour commentary – that is been dominated for too lengthy by the jock ocracy: ex-gamers who’ve discovered the 11 clichés crucial to come back throughout as competent to anybody who’s solely half-listening sound. (Tune in to a Fox present sometime; inevitably — and with the attainable exception of Troy Aikman — the gorilla stuffed right into a community blazer will say, “He is taking part in laborious!” no less than ten instances.) Up to now, Kornheiser has it has swallowed its character and is caught midway between being amusing and saying one thing related. At the least Dennis Miller bought his balls out and talked concerning the Plantagenets.

Any key conclusions we might take from the primary full weekend of pre-season soccer?

Bodog.com Bookmaker, BoDog.com: Let’s begin the conclusions with a direct quote from Clinton Portis: “I injured myself in a recreation I had no enterprise in.” You stated it, Clinton! Stars in these video games are nothing greater than sitting geese. So despite the fact that everybody who backed Philly within the Corridor of Fame recreation threw darts at Andy Reid posters (they even do them?), you’ll be able to blame him for spending a big chunk of the second half together with his QB Timmy Chang performed the fourth string ? Pre-season soccer is harmful. The trainers might be scared of coaching till week 1.

What on earth is happening with the St. Louis Cardinals? Are you able to see they’re lacking the playoffs? Do they actually have a probability of going to the World Sequence?

BDB, BoDog.com: The Playing cards positively nonetheless have a shot on the World Sequence. Sure, they’re 4-6 of their final 10, however the Dodgers are 9-1. That is simply insane, as is anybody who doubts no less than a wild card slot for the playing cards. Simply have a look at who’s on the hunt.

Are you able to give us some perception into who you suppose the American and Nationwide League MVPs might be and inform us why?

BDB, BoDog.com: Tight MVP races are often determined in September, however who does not like Huge Daddy proper now? Ortiz and his legendary clutch recreation will possible get away with it, as will Pujols within the NL. If solely he hadn’t been injured this yr, we would have seen a run within the report books. Nonetheless, 35 homers, 95 ribbies, and 87 runs with a .329 common in mid-August aren’t too shabby.

What are your ideas as you head into golf’s fourth main, the PGA, in Medinah this weekend? Is it tiger and everybody else? Are folks loopy about betting on guys who aren’t a number of the greatest golfers on this planet?

BDB, BoDog.com: They’re by no means loopy about successful the large payouts in a golf match, however in the case of the PGA Championship, the large boys positively get to play. Tiger, Phil and Vijay have shared 5 of the final eight.